EGO – A MISUNDERSTOOD FOE?

 

“Love is happy when it is able to give something. The ego is happy when it is able to take something.” – Osho

 

What is “EGO?”

Ego is defined as; the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

 

As observed by all of us, an egotist has an inflated sense of pride in his/her superiority to others. The egotist does not just overthink of himself but too little of other people as well. They hurt others beyond repair. Honestly, an ego trip has no destination.  It is detrimental to everyone.

 

King Ravan’s ego spelt his doom. There is no dearth of such examples all around us. I have seen patients succumbing to their medical ailments just because they did not seek medical attention in time. The reason was their ego of not accepting the illness. (Nothing can happen to me).

 

However, ego is not just limited to what we perceive and understand in our daily lives. It is much more complex. For a far deeper understanding of Ego, we need to revisit Psychology and Spirituality.  

 

According to Famous Psychologist, Sigmund Freud (whose work on Ego has been epoch-making), the ego is part of our personality that mediates the demands of the id, the superego, and reality. Freud described the id as the most basic part of the personality that urges people to fulfil their most primal needs. On the other hand, the superego is the moralistic part of personality. It is the ego's job to strike a balance between these two in a way that conforms to the demands of reality.

 

Feud gave an example of a horse and a rider to understand the relationship between id and ego. The horse represents the id and the rider represents the ego. Most of the time a rider would control the horse, but sometimes the horse (id)’s urges may be too powerful for the rider (ego) to keep a check.

 

As per Vedanta (the Hindu spiritual practice), ego is defined as the false sense of self that arises from identification with body, mind and external circumstances. A distorted perception of reality is created based on fear, desires and attachments. The ego is driven by the need for approval and security. The true self is beyond the limitations of ego. The challenge is to dissolve the ego to be able to unearth the true self.

 

I came across an interesting article which uniquely explained the ego. It compared virtues to apps, the soul as the creator of software and the ego as a cell phone. The ego downloads the virtues stored in the soul. With each new application, the cell phone gets better. The applications will only be meaningful if installed on a cell phone. On the other hand, a cell phone becomes obsolete if not updated with new applications. With cell phones (ego)we interact with the world, with good apps (virtues) our possibilities expand.

 

If we understand this metaphor, we can comprehend that there can be an existence of 

“HEALTHY EGO”.

 

First, we have to realize that we all are egocentric. This is because we can understand and process the information to survive only by focusing on ourselves (because that is all that we know).

 

A healthy ego is in sync with self-image which is resilient. It can take a comprehensive outlook on a situation and can see ‘beyond’ one’s own self.  It practices acceptance and discretion between right and wrong. Reactive responses block us from developing a healthier ego. 

 

Eckhart Tolle said: “Whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that’s the ego in you.”  A powerful thought to mull over!  

 

Moreover, if you are constantly being hurt, offended, or angered, you should honestly evaluate your inflamed ego. Real humility lies in self-forgetfulness!

 

Let me end with an insightful quote from Wayne Dyer: “You can either be a host to God or a hostage to your ego. It is your call”.

 

 

 

 

Dr HEMANT ANTANI