ANGER – A COMPLEX EMOTION

 

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”                                                        Lord Buddha

Every human being gets angry at some point or the other. Anger is a ubiquitous emotion. In general, Anger is perceived as shouting. However, it is worth comprehending that anger is a lot more complex than that.

 

Why do we get angry?

 

When we are challenged with frustration, annoyance, deceit, breach of confidence or anxiety, we tend to resort to anger.

We also get angry when our expectations from others are not met .

 

Anger is subjective. When faced with the same challenges, some people do not get angry whereas some just explode. 

 

Why so?

 

Psychologist Jerry Deffenbacher explains that anger results from a combination of the trigger event, the qualities of an individual and the person’s appraisal of the situation.

 

The personality trait of an individual plays a pivotal role in his/her vulnerability to anger. 

 

A very low tolerance for frustration, high levels of anxiety, and inability to appraise a situation from an unbiased mind would make a person livid.

 

Some individuals are too sensitive about their expectations from others. When they are not fulfilled, anger ensues.

A fragile ego (always wanting to dominate) and a feeling of entitlement (believing one’s rights and privileges are superior to others) lead to annoyance and anger.

 

Excessive anger is pernicious to personal relationships. For any healthy communication, the mode of expression is as important as the content. Heated exchanges are a big letdown.

 

Undue outbursts of anger are detrimental to health. It leads to increased levels of adrenaline which can precipitate heart attack, brain stroke and more. I distinctly recollect a few patients who landed in my hospital with heart attack after a severe bout of anger at the work place.

 

Anger affects cognition too. The ability to think clearly is adversely affected leading to poor judgement and decision making.

 

Mark Twain’s discerning quote says it all - “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured”.

 

Lord Buddha said: “You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger”.

 

It is interesting to know that Psychology has defined various types of anger.

 

BEHAVIOURAL ANGER – This is a destructive type. A person gets too impulsive and can even hurt others physically.

 

CHRONIC ANGER – It is a low- level anger persisting within. It leads to irritability and frustration.

 

RETALIATORY ANGER –  We get angry at others who we feel hurt us. The hurt could be real or perceived.

 

HABITUAL ADDICTIVE ANGER – Some people experience “feel good” emotion when they are extremely angry. The person then becomes addicted and seek out situations to get enraged. 

 

SILENT ANGER – People tend to keep things that upset them inside. They don’t often express their emotions when they first feel them. They scowl at others.

 

Anger however at times is justified and essential too. It is referred to as ASSERTIVE ANGER. It is a moral outrage at the injustice, oppression of human rights & abusive relationship. This anger is justifiable since it directs our anger towards problems to focus on solutions.

 

Let us resort to what Bhagwat Gita teaches us.

कामक्रोधवियुक्तानां यतीनां यतचेतसाम् 

(Those who are free from lust and anger, and have realized the Self, for them, there is spiritual bliss both here and hereafter.)

 

Does this mean that we should never be angry? Is it ever possible? 

 

The answer lies in the quote by Aristotle who said: - “Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy”. 

 

It is all up to us !

 

 

Dr HEMANT ANTANI