YOU ARE AN ATTITUDE AWAY FROM HAPPINESS

 

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind”.   (James Adams)

 

So true! Life is as we perceive it. Just look around us – happy people – have a positive attitude towards life. It is not the situation; our reaction to it defines our state of mind.

 

Arthur Ashe – a Wimbledon champion – ended up with a serious disease from which he was dying. Some fans asked him why GOD must select him for such a nasty disease. His answer was – “World over five crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakhs learn to play tennis, 50000 can enter the professional circuit. Five thousand reach the grand slam, and 50 reach Wimbledon, but only one lifts the trophy. When I received the trophy, I did not ask GOD – WHY ME? What an attitude! So today, in pain, I should not be asking God – WHY ME ? !!” 

 

We have grown up listening to the glass half empty vs half full. One can complain a rose has thorns or rejoice thorns have a rose. To some, a door is half closed, whereas, to some, it is half open. Six appears nine if looked from another direction. In a famous David and Goliath story, villagers found Goliath too big to hit while David found Goliath too big to miss! – We can go on – the crux of all examples is that everything is as you perceive, which is attitude.

 

A positive attitude helps! Unrealistic Expectations and Non-acceptance of the situation or conditions are the most destructive negative attitudes leading to unhappiness. Let us introspect – aren’t we stressed out or aggrieved because our expectations from others (even your children) are unmet, or we cannot come to terms with any happening in our lives?  

 

“God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference.” (Reinhold Niebuhr)

 

Another letdown of a negative attitude is not being satisfied with what one has. Pleasure is “ Getting What You Want”, whereas Happiness is “ Wanting What You Get”. The unhappiness sets in when we crave more and more, not enjoying what we already have! It is not how much we have but how much we want from what we have ushered in Happiness. Haven’t we seen happy street vendors and labourers with meagre possessions?

 

For many of us, Happiness is like a football, after which we run wherever it rolls and push it with our feet when it stops !! 

 

Most of us suffer from an attitude of what I call COMPARISION SYNDROME. From childhood, we are taught to compare ourselves with others, and all our advertisements also revolve around it (Remember an ad – How come her saree is more white than mine?). Unless we don’t learn to enjoy what we have without comparing it with others – Happiness will always elude us. It is all about attitude!

 

THE HAPPINESS THRESHOLD plays a significant role in how one feels. We have seen two individuals getting the same thing; one would be very unhappy with what he has gained since he always wanted more, whereas the other person feels at the top of the World! The Happiness threshold of the second person was high. 

 

SHOWING OFF TO OTHERS TO MAKE THEM JEALOUS is the only motive for many to get things. They want to get “wow” approvals from others – if it does not happen, the proud possession does not bring any joy to them. 

Happiness in marital life is so much dependent on the attitude of both partners. An overpowering attitude with no respect and trust for your spouse will result in a bitter marriage. A sharing and caring attitude is what makes marriage bliss.

 

People with a negative attitude are always jittery, agitated and aggrieved. They don’t see anything good anywhere! 

They are;

Fault Finders – Always find fault in others. In the mirror, they always look for cracks. 

Always Complaining – Never happy with anything – complains about everything!

Full of Excuses  – Have excuses for every lapse that they make.

Blaming Others – system, family, friends, or government. 

Worrying about Everything – even minor medical ailments sends them into a frenzy. Nothing appears bright to them. 

Not Living in the Present Moment – without savouring the present moments, they always visualize a dreadful future (which may never happen)

Serious all times – They do not smile even in happy times with family/friends. 

 

Not smiling is like having an account with millions of rupees and no chequebook! A negative person turns off the light to see how dark it is !!!

 

SPIRITUALITY leads to eternal bliss. Try helping someone in genuine need – the fulfilment in our hearts will outclass any joy from material possessions. We can always consciously attempt to develop an attitude of EMPATHY and compassion. This is the ONLY way to find true Happiness. 

 

Bernard Shaw commented: “Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself”.

                                                                                  

Is HAPPINESS not an ATTITUDE?