TRUST – A MAJOR CRISIS

"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships." ( Stephen Covey)

The most crucial element for a lasting healthy relationship is Trust. It is like a fuel to a car. Trust is the foundation on which we build all our relationships.

Whether it is relationships, organizations, nations, teams or civilizations, only Trust can bind everything together. The strongest of associations, powerful countries, powerful governments, and thriving economies have witnessed destruction due to breach of Trust. 

Trust is a crucial link for effective communication. Our communication becomes easy and purposeful when we trust the person we are talking with. Conversely, we hold many thoughts back without trust and hesitate to open up, leading to ineffective communication.

Let me narrate a small story to emphasize the power of Trust. 

The little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. Father asked his little daughter, 'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so you don't fall into the river.' The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.' Father was perplexed. He asked, 'What is the difference?' The little girl replied, 'There is a big difference. If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.' 

Our lives are at stake when we travel by plane or undergo surgery. But, we trust a pilot or a doctor for their judgement and expertise. At several stages in our lives, we have to trust others. Life can’t inch ahead without it. Trust is an indispensable part of our lives.

What is the current scenario? One of the enormous crises the world faces today is Trust. Our smiles, words, and behaviour – are all deceiving. Social media's fake likes and identities have plunged us into a bottomless abyss. We can't place faith in others. We doubt others much more than we trust them. However, we forget that Trust goes out of the same door from which the doubt comes in.

Why has the Trust Deficit become the norm for our society? There could be many reasons. But the foremost is the lack of trust in oneself. Trust begins with ourselves. If only we could trust ourselves, we would be able to trust others.

Self-trust is a behaviour. Let me spell out some conducts to mull over.

·       How sure are we of fulfilling our resolutions, viz. – dieting, exercise, starting regular reading, or any other desired habit. 

·       How often do you say YES to others when you know it is impossible?

·       How often do we lie to our family, friends, colleagues and others with ease?

·       How often do we trust our ears more than our eyes?

We can't expect others to be dependable if we cannot become trustworthy. Bennett said: "For every good reason to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth". 

To find Trust in others, we need to become 'trustworthy'. Someone remarked – 'To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved'. The Trust Crisis in society culminates in the 'Trust Deficit' in oneself. 

                         How would a trustworthy person conduct?

·       Exhibits Transparency in behaviour & actions

·       Walks the talk. Congruence is vital to get trust from others. 

·       Owns responsibility. Courage to accept a mistake and remaining accountable makes the person respectful.

·       Is open-minded & respects others’ opinions. 

·       Is transparent in a relationship. (just one lie is enough to break trust for a lifetime.) Relationships without trust are like having a mobile with no network. What do we do when we have no service? We play games! 

A person is considered 'impractical' if he trusts others! If we believe in the long-term betterment of society/relationships/organizations – not depending may be riskier than relying upon others. 

The irony is Trust has two edges. Blind Trust has ruined many lives. It becomes crucial to be smart enough to understand whom it trusts. In his book Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey outlines four quadrants. The first quadrant is 'Blind Trust' – Gullibility. The second is 'Smart Trust' – Good Judgement (Trust, but verify). The third quadrant is 'No Trust' – Indecision, and the Fourth is 'Distrust' – Suspicion. 

It needs no rocket science to understand that one must strive to stay in the second quadrant. Yes, it is difficult, but by no means impossible. 

Pay attention to what  Ralph Emerson says – "Trust your instincts to the end, though you can render no reason". 

It is time to look into the mirror and check: are we trustworthy?