JUDGEMENTALISM – THE UNIVERSAL HUMAN FIXATION

 

              “When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself.”                                 

                                                                                                (Earl Nightingale)

 

Judging others is an intrinsically woven habit of Homo Sapiens at large. We quickly judge others – their looks, body shape, food habits, home, office, behaviour, etc. It is pretty standard to hear people giving a final verdict on people they don't even know or ever met! Becoming an instant judge has been the favourite mental occupation for many. 

 

Why do we judge others?

 

Our brains are wired to derive our final verdicts on others' behaviour mainly because we don't have to spend energy understanding everything we see. Understanding is more complex as it entails deep, open thinking and patience. Our closed minds and open mouths find it convenient to pass on the judgement.

 

The tendency to judge others instinctively is taught right from our formative days. We grow up observing our parents, teachers, and peers voicing their judgements with ridiculous ease.

 

We all have the innate desire to be correct, better, and superior – almost always. We are urged to judge others because we view the world as right or wrong (from our perspective only). 

 

We are all outstanding lawyers for ourselves – our behaviour, actions and decisions. We always try to find reasons (right or wrong) to justify all our efforts. We revel in our "confirmation bias". Coined by English psychologist Peter Wason, Confirmation Bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favour, and recall information that confirms or supports one's prior beliefs or values. 

 

Let us dig further – Judgementalism stems from our feelings of inferiority or incompleteness. We tend to get sadistic satisfaction by creating a maligned image of others we are jealous of. It is expected to find envious people attempting to generate a better self-image than others. We do not like to see in others what we are not.

Judgment is our reflection. If we are shy and introverted, we tend to criticize an outspoken, extroverted person. The world around us is our mirror.

 

Passing on wrong information about others is intentional for many. It is done to tarnish the image of the person they don't like or envy him.

They get a sadistic pleasure in sensationalizing the lies. Over time, they become the victim of this unhealthy habit.

 

Our opinion is often based on what we have heard from others (without having any personal interaction). The irony is that we are passing judgment on a person we have never met! A well-dressed -, wise-looking person would get more positive votes than a simple-looking guy! No one wants to "know" them. The so-called intelligent person can be a fraudster/cheater, whereas the simple-looking guy could be a much better person and even wealthier. Exterior, but not the interior, has become the yardstick of our judgement. Never judge a potato by the skin; someday, it will be French fries!

 

Our barometer of judging others is pushed into an abyss in the contemporary digital world dominated and commanded by social media. A person's fake appearance, identity, news & self-projection entice many. We have become vulnerable to what is fed to us on digital media.

 

So the question is - How do we judge others? The ideal answer is – don't judge at all. However, it is easier said than done since it means going against our innate nature. However, we certainly can learn to become more self-aware while judging. Our judgement will be rational If we appreciate that inadvertent judging shuts us down and keeps us away from truthful understanding.

 

Here are some suggestions to ponder upon.

 

·   Keep an open mind. The mind should be like a parachute- it functions only when open.

  Our closed minds and open mouths force us to derive instantaneous opinions regardless

   of the truth. We should only try to fit some things as per our perception. 

 

·    Please do not believe in what others say when we have not confirmed it ourselves.

   Judging someone without knowing is an act of gross injustice. 

 

·      Be empathetic to others. We have yet to learn the battle they are fighting. We should

  be more accommodative & appreciative of the world around us for what it is rather than

   trying to fit it into our optics.

 

·  Practice Self-Awareness. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand

   others. If we want to grow, stop judging.

 

Let me end by quoting Lord Shri Krishna ( Bhagwat Geeta 16.2)

               अहिंसा सत्यमक्रोधस्त्याग: शान्तिरपैशुनम्।

               दया भूतेष्वलोलुप्त्वं मार्दवं ह्रीरचापलम्॥2॥

 

(Godly man is empowered with Nonviolence, truthfulness, freedom from anger, aversion to fault finding, and compassion for all living entities.)

 

 Let us be open, compassionate and self-aware next time we wear our customary judgemental glasses.