FIND YOUR OWN UMBRELLA

 

 "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another". 

                                                                                                                       (William Jones)

 

Right from the time we are born till we die, life continues to throw challenges at us. Adverse circumstances, tricky situations, conflicts, dilemmas of choice, work pressure, etc., test us at every walk of life. We can't escape !! The only place where there is no stress is the cemetery !!! 

 

Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response. The body reacts to these changes with physical, mental, and emotional responses. Simply put, Stress is the gap between our expectations and reality.

 

Whatever way the STRESS is defined, the STRESS results from one's reaction to the situation. (It is beyond any definition). Moreover, it is so subjective – a person may relish a stressful situation which makes someone tense. Take an example of a Roller Coaster ride – some are overjoyed with the ride, whereas some just panic!

 

It also should be noted that 'some' stress is essential for optimum performance. The performance and outcome remain suboptimal unless challenged or brought out of the comfort zone. 

 

No self-help book or expert will be able to help us find out our OPTIMAL level of Stress. Optimal Stress is one at which one performs the best. Sub-optimal Stress leads to a "laid back" attitude, and an optimal stress level leads to Anxiety and eventual burnout. Remember, it is only WE who can control our lives.

 

An acknowledged stress management expert, Hans Selye, said: "The stress of exhilarating, creative, successful work is beneficial, while that of failure, humiliation is detrimental."

Undue Stress is detrimental to health. Medical science has established the harmful effects of Adrenaline, Cortisol which is liberated in response to stressful situations. Heart Attacks, Stroke, High BP, Diabetes, Ulcers, migraines, Colitis, Psychiatric illness, Asthma and many more diseases are precipitated or aggravated by Stress. In my 35 years as a consultant doctor of medicine, I have seen umpteen patients whose Diabetes and Blood Pressure were challenging to control owing to the tremendous Stress they were finding themselves under. Sadly, I have seen an alarming rise in very young patients (in their thirties) ending up with a stroke, high BP, or heart attack. They are the victims of extreme Anxiety and stress due to varied reasons. I have no hesitation in naming the current milieu as an "epidemic of stress".

 

I do not want to dwell too much on the causes of Stress – as they are pretty well known to all – to name a few important ones – Expectations, Non-acceptance, "Want More "syndrome, Comparison with others,  Overambitious, Peer Pressure, and Fear of Failure.

 

I want to drive an important point. Stress is always "Subjective". Every individual has a different sensitivity to varied stressors/ situations. (A challenging problem for one person is a motivation, whereas it would be a big let-down for the other person). It is rightly said: "It is not the load that breaks you down; it is the way you carry it". 

 

Thus, Stress depends upon an individual and cannot be generalized. And hence, every person must identify their stressors. We should have an attitude to change what we can and accept what we cannot. 

 

Finding your umbrella is discovering your coping mechanism. I am putting forth some possible attitude changers to conquer the Stress. 

 

Some stressful situations are not under our control (death of family/close friend, suffering from serious illness, natural calamity hitting hard). To overcome such distress, a Spiritual Mindset can come to our rescue. Belief in KARMA, acceptance of non-permanence, and faith in the almighty are some ways to combat. Barring these few (as mentioned above), most situations are manageable by enforcing a change in attitude, behaviours or actions.   

 

A healthy lifestyle (food, regular exercise, adequate, timely sleep, avoidance of tobacco and excessive alcohol) & positive attitude towards life are vital to leading a stress-coping life. 

 

Self-management is vital if the stressors are because of our habits.   - Procrastination, Poor Time management, Poor Communication, Cluttered, not able to say NO, Envious, complaining against everyone and everything, Inability to relax, Rigidity, looking for perfection in everything, no trust in anybody, not letting it go - are the traits we must improve upon to feel unburdened and cheerful.

 

"How do others feel about me?" has been the most important agenda for many. Social Media's invasion and intrusion have made our lives an open book. Futile attempts to impress (?!) others and expecting incessant recognition from one and all have been the main stressors of the modern era.

 

Remember these lines – 'Don't stress the could haves; if it should have, it would have'. 

 

Stress is not what happens to us but our response to what happens to us. And our response is our choice. 

 

Famous author Eckhardt Tolle writes: "Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there."

 

The concept of NEGATIVE VISUALIZATION may help. As per the said concept, we should think of the worst that can happen and then contemplate. Our coping power strengthens immensely with a broader horizon of thoughts and possibilities.

 

Morita Therapy (practised in Japan) teaches us to accept our feelings without trying to control them. Focusing on the present moment and taking any suffering are the key takeaways of Morita therapy. 

 

Lord Krishna in Bhagwat Gita guides us to do our KARMA without expecting the reward. If it can be implemented, there will be no place for anxiety in our lives. 

 

We all are aware of the power of  Meditation. If properly practised, it will usher in calmness & mindfulness to lift our lives beyond miseries.

 

Whatever may be the factors causing Stress in our lives, it is only WE who can help ourselves. Our attitude and outlook would spell our outcome.

 

Others can support us, but ultimately, we only have to find our umbrella to combat the rain and heat of the Stress.