COMMUNICATION – THE HUMAN CONNECTION

 

   "Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it, it dies."    (Tony Gaskins)

 

We often perceive Information and Communication as the same, but they signify different things. Communication is far beyond just speaking. Information is given out; Communication is getting through.

 

Effective communication is exchanging ideas, thoughts, opinions, knowledge, and data to receive and understand the message with clarity and purpose. Communication is only EFFECTIVE when we communicate meaningfully to the recipient, not ourselves. 

 

We now live in an era of Information Technology, which has made the world easily accessible. But isn't it ironic that genuine communication is becoming a rarity? The possible reason is Emotional Disconnect. Emotional awareness is vital for meaningful communication.

 

Communication's goal is to create better understanding and rapport. We need to realize that everyone's perception is different. So it is crucial to understand and respect others' stances while communicating with them.

 

For communication to be effective, it must be BRIEF, PRECISE, RELEVANT and EASY to understand. Others would only receive necessary lengthy talks with relevance. Moreover, we would leave a negative impression on others.

 

Speaking TRUTH is also equally crucial for a long-lasting compassionate relationship. CONSISTENCY would win us respect and credibility. If our take is different at a different place on the same subject – we are doing great harm to our image. No one would take our words seriously.

 

The most vital aspect of effective communication is HOW we communicate. Even if we are right, the message does not get across because of our choice of words and tone of voice. The outcome is even worse - the relationships are severed forever. It would help if we were extra careful when we are angry and communicating. We must take hold of ourselves before starting vital communication. Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice. We must ensure that we talk to others in a way that heals and not wounds.

 

Sometimes, we want to say NO but end up saying YES. It leads to stress in our lives. We have to learn to say NO – in a polite yet firm way. Remember, we can 'disagree' but should not become 'disagreeable'.

 

To become an effective communicator, we must be good LISTENERS. Patient and eagerly listening ears are the most potent tools for purposeful communication. Most of the time, we hear 'to reply' and not listen 'to understand'. When we listen, we learn to respect others' opinions. Cultivate a habit of being a good listener.

 

The words are precious. Save them wisely. Speak 'only' if it improves the silence. Someone remarked, 'Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.'! The great thing is to know when to speak and when to keep quiet. 

 

Always remember our body speaks, too. Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in effective communication. We hate or love some people even before talking to them because of their poor body language. When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another, a practised man relies on the language of the first. There is a world of communication which is not dependent on words. Positive communication entails positive body language. 

 

I am reminded of the very famous words of Peter Drucker - "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." 

 

George Bernard Shaw said: "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." 

 

Remember not to underestimate the power of self-communication. The most meaningful communication is Communication with Self. When communicating with ourselves, we become aware of our strengths, weaknesses, and mistakes. Understanding them would make us effective communicators and better human beings.

 

There can't be a better motivational force than SELF-MOTIVATION attained through Self Communication. Moreover, it also makes us more confident people. Still more – through Self Communication, we understand the profound importance of "thinking first" before reacting. We develop an attitude of response and not a reaction. We can prevent impulsive decisions or instant responses to others' words, which may lead to disappointing outcomes. 

 

Famous author and monk Thich Nhat Hanh writes, "Once you communicate with yourself, you will be able to communicate outwardly more clearly. The way in is the way out". 

 

'Mis-Communication' & 'Non-Communication' are potent killers of a relationship. It is said the relationship never dies a natural death. It dies because of ego, improper communication – wrong words/tone, or a lack of communication. It is not the distance but the lack of communication which keeps people apart.

 

Let me end by quoting insightful words from Nicky Gumbel – 

"A lot of problems in the world would be solved if we talked to each other instead of about each other". 

 

How effective a communicator are you?